This is a song sung by a character named Natalie, twenty-something misanthrope,  who is in love with Peter, also twenty-something,  rabidly misanthropic and militant in his rhetoric on the one hand and a sweet, needy guy just under the surface. I have not yet formed a scene around this but Peter has just finished a tirade against human beings, calling them “viruses in shoes” and declaring that all humans are scum.

NATALIE.

I’ve searched low and high
For that one special guy
Who shared my disdain for our species,
Yet who cared for the birds
And the bees and the herds
Of all of the four-legged beasties.
But I just couldn’t see
Where that fella could be
And I started to feel like a dope,
I just couldn’t cope
And I nearly lost hope
Of finding my own misanthrope —

Then suddenly he is here,
Hating humans with a passion,
And I swoon!
He makes it quite clear
The human race needs to crash
And do it soon!

And though I think it’s great
How much he loves to hate
All of humanity,
He’d fulfill the hope
Of this misanthrope –
If only he’d love me!

I’m a girl who loves a guy
Who thinks I’m scum,
And I could die
From happiness!

Though he’s no guy to harm a fly
He’d beat a drum
For homicide,
And nothing less!

People who love people
Who hate people
Are the only ones
Who truly care!
People who hate people
Who love people
Are the only ones
Who truly dare
To change this fucked up world!

I’m a girl, he’s a guy,
We’re both scum
And we should die
In sweet caress

My kinda guy – to him I’d fly
We’d beat that drum
For homicide,
And nothing less!

And though I think it’s great
How much he loves to hate
All of humanity
He’d fulfill the hope
Of this misanthrope –
If only he’d love me!